How Relationship Marketing Works

June 16, 2008

Several years ago, I got a call from a guy who saw my success story in the Dallas Morning News. He called because he had a dream to create a marketing agency and since I had one and one that was successful enough to be written up in the paper he thought I might be a good place to start.

What he didn’t know was that I established a strong working relationship with a reporter responsible for those stories and many of my clients appeared on a regular basis because I was willing to write good stories and pass them on to her. On deadline day, my client still had not approved ‘who’ the spotlight professional would be so I was forced to figure out a solution. Voila! I did one for myself.

Back to the guy who called me. I love to help people realize their dreams and he seemed earnest enough so I met with him. I shared as much as I could, gave him referrals to other people who might be a fit (he wanted to create a sports marketing agency), and encouraged him to ‘go for it.’ I said good-bye to him and didn’t have one thought more about anything else happening.

About a week later I received a call from another guy. This guy referenced the first guy and said that his friend thought I might be able to help. A few days later we were having lunch at a great local Thai restaurant (where he only goes on business lunches because his wife doesn’t like Thai food). As we ate, he shared his story about why he was a new business owner, how his last firm was a huge success but he had kids and his former partners spent mad amounts of cash on marketing, and how he had dreams for the future of being like the local hardware store where people know you and trust you. I told him to hold that vision and if he ever felt lost to come back to it and he would know just what to do in his business. I listened intently to what he had to share and reminded him of all the success he had experienced and encouraged him to never change who he is.

We walked out of the restaurant and he thanked me, and then said… "Do I owe you something? I feel like I got so much from our conversation." I responded that in all of my years in business that I have always shown up where I am directed and things have taken care of themselves. I added as I walked away, "If there’s ever an opportunity for you to tell someone else about me, you’ll know. I said good-bye to him and didn’t have one thought about anything else happening.

About a week after that I was with a client and the subject of a huge project came up. I mean a HUGE job - one that would be many hundreds of thousands of dollars. I just happened to be standing in the hallway when the conversation was taking place. My client and I both knew one other firm, but I also knew this new fellow I met just the week before. What did I have in my mind? Logic? No… I had a guy’s heart in my mind. A guy who wanted to be like the hardware shop - where people could come to him and trust that the job would be done right.

I told my client all about this guy and how successful his previous firm had been and how he was a guy you could really count on. Plus, he was local (the other firm was halfway across the U.S.) and with the size of his company could also be flexible. I gave my client that guy’s card and left. I didn’t have one thought more about anything else happening.

About a week after that, I got a call from the guy I referred to my client. He was ecstatic… this job was the biggest in the firm’s history… as big as many other firms 10 times their size… and they just won the bid. He was calling to thank me. And he wanted me to share in the success. He planned to give me a referral bonus. Since I didn’t refer him to make money, I felt fine with this because the referral was given with the best intention and the bonus was given after I referred who I thought was best to the company.

What was the ‘referral’ bonus? A check for nearly 10 grand from a nice guy I met through another nice guy who didn’t know me from Adam until he saw me in the newspaper.

So, how does relationship marketing work?

Give first and don’t expect anything. I’ve found over the years that there are people who give first, people who give nothing away, and those who think they give freely but really expect something in return. I recommend going where you feel pulled to go. I don’t meet with every person who calls me, there’s just not enough time in the day to do that. But, when my heart is pulled, I go. When I am there, I give all I am to the moment and share as much as I can. I feel like as long as I’m there I might as well be useful.
Get to know good people. Birds of a feather flock together. Good people know other good people. When people I know, like and trust suggest I meet someone they know, I go. I don’t ask a lot of questions or question why, I just go. The only way to get to know more like-minded people is to get to know and connect other like-minded people. Be a connector yourself and you will find that others will be happy to reciprocate the kindness.
Be ready to receive. Too many people complain about not getting enough sales or referrals or business they love and at the same time they just aren’t open to receiving what is available. If you are focused on what you don’t have then your mind can’t be open to seeing what is coming to you. Stay open to opportunities that will enhance your business as well as others. When people only think of themselves then they don’t have room to think of others. Receiving is all about being ready.

Relationships form when you aren’t working hard to make a connection. Give and help others get to where they are going and others will help you get to where you are going. Be sure you know where you are going!

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